Friend or foe? How I got over a toxic friendship - Cynthia Awuor Okoth

What’s up SKY babes? Have you ever been unsure kama your friend is a good or bad friend? Or are you nervous about ending a toxic relationship? We know it’s complicated. So that is why we asked a fellow SKY girl to share her story of how she got over a toxic friendship, maybe this will help you out.

When I was in primary, I had a friend that I loved and trusted a lot. We enjoyed each other’s company and spent a lot of time together doing everything under the sun and sharing secrets. I really wanted to be a good friend to her so I would do whatever she asked, no matter how risky. I also wanted to be like her in some way. This is because I thought she was so special and cool. 

As KCPE season approached, she helped me understand topics that were hard for me and I was grateful for that. When the results came out, I actually scored higher than her. Instead of being happy for me, aliskia kiwaruwaru and her behavior towards me changed completely. As her friend, I had to ask her why she was acting so weird so we could see how to fix it, because I didn’t want anything to come between us.

Upon replying, she accused me of lying about my knowledge of certain subjects so that I could study more than her and pass her in exams. She continued to make me feel so bad, I even regretted scoring as highly as I did. I ended up apologizing and doing everything I could to save our friendship. Lakini, it became a pattern. Anytime I did something good, alinifanya niskie vibaya na hakushow support in anything I did.

Hadi alianza kuniambia vile kuvaa! I would wear what made me feel good and she would insult me and tell me that if I want to be her friend, I had to learn how to dress. I was just trying to do my thing but that was never good enough for her. Aki alifanya niskie like I don’t have style and really lowered my self-esteem. She would always embarrass me in front of her friends and make me feel kama mi ni mshamba.

One day, tulienda nyumba ya friend wake who I had never met before. Tulikuwa tu tumechill and I was happy that she was introducing me to her other friends. Tulikuwa vibes tu, until I saw her remove a packet of cigarettes from her bag. Her friend was so excited and they both took one; I was next. I panicked and excused myself to the washroom. Nilianza kujiuliza what I was doing?! In that moment, I realized that I let it all get too far. I didn’t have to be like her, I just had to be me.

I left her friend’s house and told her that I could no longer be friends with her. She made me feel bad about being myself and wated me to change who I was to make her happy. A true friend would accept me as I am and love me like that. 

Woah! That was crazy!! Tunaskia woiye after reading that. If your friend makes you doubt yourself, lowers your self-esteem by talking badly to you, tries to control you or push you into doing things that are nnot for you, that might ot be a good friend babe. Be brave, let that relationship go and build new strong friendships with people who brig out the best in you.