Circle Yangu, Standard Zangu

Story time: Nilikuwa na this friend na tulikuwa super close. Tuli-spend time pamoja, tukashare secrets, na I genuinely thought we had each other’s back. But then nikaanza kuskia storyzangu ziki-spread. Vitu nili-share na yeye in confidence zikakuwa hot topic kwa group chats. Nikimwuliza, alijifanya hajui what I’m talking about. Akasema walijua from somewhere else ama niliambia mtu mwingine.

Ikanihit: “Juu mtu anasmile na wewe, haimaanishi they’re a true friend.” Nilifeel hurt, betrayed, and confused. But nikarealise, sio kila mtu anafaa kuwa kwa circle yangu.

Unaweza avoid hii situation babes, tumia hizi tips kuona kama circle yako iko true.

Check the Energy, Sio tu Image

Kuna watu wako fun sana, wanakuchekesha, wana post fire pics lakini ukiwa around them, unafeel off. That’s a sign! Jiulize:

• Wanakuhype venye unawahype?
• Wanarespect choice yako ukisema “zii”?
• Unafeel safe nao ama unakuwa on edge?

A good image sio enough. Choose watu wanakufanya ufeel safe sio tu watu wanakaa poa.

Jua What a Safe Space Feels Like

A safe space ni feeling. Ni when unaweza do your thing bila filter, fear au pressure. Signs za kiujua you’re in a safe space ni ukifeel:

• Free – Kusema what’s on your mind bila judgement
• Heard – Opinion yako inamatter, ata when watu wengine waki-disagree
• Held – Emotionally. Yaani your feelings are valid

Ukurialise space yenye uko sio safe, you can build your own.

• Trust your vibe radar - kitu ikifeel off, usi ignore hio feeling
• Jitoe mahali energy haimatch standards zako
• Spend time na watu wenye wanaheshimu decisions zako

Your “No” is Enough (You Don’t Need to Feel Bad About It)

Ukikataa kufanye kitu juu hauko comfortable halfu na mtu anajam ama anakufanya uskie guilty? Hio ni red flag, babe. Boundaries zinafaa kuku-protect, not to hurt others. 

Na kuset boundary haifai kuwa argument. Saa zingine ni tricky kusema tu zii, so instead unawaza sema:

• “Si feel hii vibe, so nitapass.”
• “That’s not really my thing”
• “Si leo, labda next time”
• “Niko sawa, thanks.”

Sio always easy kuspeak up, especially kama unafeel kama utadisappoint mtu. Lakini guess what, una-deserve kuprotect your space na uko allowed kusema zii.

Be the Kind of Friend You Want

Usisahau that pia wewe unacontribue kwa circle yako. Unafaa ku:

• Hype mabeshte wako genuinely
• Skiza opinion za watu bila kujudge
• Don’t pressure someone into doing something si vibe yao

Real friendships ni balance ya kugive and kureceive. If you’re kind, respectful, and true to you, those are the kinds of people you’ll attract.

Remember, You Set The Standard

Unadeserve friendships ziko kind, honest, na pressure-free. Build circle yako intentionally. We hope hizi tips zitakusaidia sis!